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Christmas beatings
Christmas greetings! Here’s an old-fashioned and rather cheesy Christmas spanking still from some long-forgotten movie. Because we’re in a traditional mood here at Jerusalem Mortimer: Between the...
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Missing “Story of O” scene discovered!
An episode from the later life of O has been discovered in the pocket of an overcoat in the Department of Lost Documents. It takes place shortly before O’s notorious entry into Celebrity Rehab. The...
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Apologia pro vita sua (my lousy excuse for a life)
Sorry about the lack of posts. I’ve been unreasonably busy on life stuff, organising and hosting a munch, taking a half a ton of iron and wood to the tip, dismantling someone else’s carpentry (an old...
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Crazy monkey attack woman!
This, apparently, is a Sexy Monkey costume. I’m not sure that real monkeys would recognise it. Someone just found this blog by typing this into a search engine: نساء سس مع قرود. So I put that Arabic...
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Bad Snowman
It snowed when I got home from the tropics. So a friend and I made a bdsm snowman and his subbie girl on the front lawn. As you do. I may have outed myself to the neighbours, a bit. Or just puzzled...
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The porn star gurn: photos in this blog 1
A reader commented that my gratuitous damn pictures aren’t safe for work. I don’t think she was seriously complaining; it was just that a pic of a pretty girl having a shower had popped up on my blog,...
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The porn star gurn: photos in this blog 2
Still talking about how I pick illustrations for this blog. 4 Illustrate the damn story Sometimes the story makes it clear, at least to me, what the picture should show. Let’s say the story has got to...
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The porn star gurn: photos in this blog 3
I’m writing about the pictures I put up in this blog and how I choose them. I’ve already mentioned some of the principles I apply when I’m searching for and selecting pictures. For example, the picture...
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Dental porn
Ah, there’s porn of it. Thank god! Sorry. It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve had a hole bored in my jawbone and a steel pin inserted into the hole. I’ll get a crown some time in December. That was...
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Trump’s “small, non-sexual part” shows up in more porn!
Monkey king: Müller’s gibbon (Borneo): Better hair, smarter, larger part Republican Party presidential candidate Donald Trump is damaged beyond repair, though I see no reason why the Democrat campaign...
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Euph off: Bedewed with the pearly tribute of manhood
Letitia climbed onto the Royal Yacht, a glass of champagne in one white-gloved hand. It was a splendid occasion, and the rear admirals and all of royalty had turned out: Elizabeth the Virgin Queen,...
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Triumph and the fountains of Rome!
I’m keeping to four posts a week, at the moment. I looked back a couple of years, back in this blog, and found I was doing seven posts a week. They tended to be shorter, because I’d write something,...
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Smutathon 1: James Joyce written in duck! Ban this sick filth!
And at last he came to me, Donald himself with his sailor suit and his beak golden in the sun, and him peeling a switch and eyeing me like the old days, when he’d whip me long and thorough the...
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Smutathon 2: Reasons not to work for News Corpse
Rupert wrested with his penis, which merely rested. Cialis, Viagra, the other bureau supplies for ageing men: they’d all long since lost their effect. Not even images of owning Sky could raise his...
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Smutathon 4: The duck vagina monologue
Drakes, or male ducks, have a penis up to half a metre (about a yard) long. But it’s spiral-shaped. If you sharpened the business end of a drake’s penis, you could use it to open wine bottles....
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Smutathon 6: Life is bleak till you’ve had beak
So I was staying at the Do-Duck Inn while I worked on the Black-Bellied Whistling Duck murder. I was out of ideas, and luck. I went down to the bar. The lights were as low as a duck hunter’s miserable...
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Smutathon 8: Life is bleak till you’ve had beak (with face-sitting!)
Back in my room in the Do-Duck Inn the party was swinging. I lay on my back on the bed, feet on the floor. Daisy stood in front of me, my cock hard in her beak. She wasn’t really evolved to give good...
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Novel excerpt: Out of the closet 1
So we were together, Amy saying thank god I’d rescued her from Mr Suave. I didn’t say how jealous I’d been, because that was discreditable. But jealousy and idiocy were still driving me. I walked her...
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Novel excerpt: Out of the closet 2
In that broom closet, as I entered her, Amy said, “You.” I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but it wasn’t hostile. I pushed my cock further into her, thumbs still digging hard into that crease...
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Novel excerpt: Out of the closet 3
Amy, still in the broom closet, my cock still in her, said, again, “Idiot.” But her tone was affectionate. It was, apparently, cute to be a jealous dickhead. Conditions probably applied, but this time...
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